Going the Distance: Individualism and Interdependence in the Commuter Marriage

Commuter spouses—dual‐income couples who live apart for their professional careers—have been the subject of relatively little scholarly research. Another, largely theoretical body of scholarship has explored the fundamental cultural tension generated by the simultaneous embracing of personal autonomy and the institution of marriage in the United States, although few scholars have explicitly sought to understand how these seemingly conflicting cultural goals play out “on the ground.” Drawing on data from in‐depth interviews ( N  = 97), the analysis finds that commuter couples indeed engaged in two discourses about their marriages that operated in tension. Although they positioned themselves as highly individualistic, interdependence was a key theme in their responses as well. Surprisingly, a substantial minority of respondents indicated that their noncohabitation enhanced their interdependence. These results not only shed light on this understudied population but also broaden our understanding of the evolving cultural meaning of marriage.