Writing the reflexive self: an autoethnography of alcoholism and the impact of psychotherapy culture

Accessible summary•  Experimental ethnography allows for the use of fiction in writing. Fiction both enables the preservation of anonymity in accounts based on real people and events and breaks down the barrier between art and science in ethnographic work. The use of fiction, which should not be regarded as synonymous with falsehood, arguably facilitates telling tales in a dramatic and enjoyable way. It is also a useful way of ‘writing the self’, so that the researcher and the researched become one and the same. Writing the self means using fiction and other literary tools to both construct and clarify the person being written about. In the case of autoethnography, this person is both the researcher and the researched. •  The short story, which forms the heart of this paper, is based on the author's battle with alcoholism over two decades. It utilizes literary devices, including poetry, time changes, and moves from describing the main protagonist in the story in first to third person. The story describes the author's experiences of feeling increasingly stigmatized and treated as ‘other’ by members of the humanistic counselling and therapy fraternity. •  The paper draws to an end with a theoretical discussion of the development of selfhood in society, including the ways in which alcoholic selves can become stigmatized and ‘othered’. The author invites readers to contribute towards ending ‘us–them’ divisions.Abstract Experimental ethnography enables the use of fictionalized accounts that celebrate partial truths and challenge realist and positivist ethnographic authority. Literary devices drawn from fiction arguably allow social researchers to better portray real events. Fiction, which should not be regarded as synonymous with falsehood, enables the telling of tales in dramatic and enjoyable ways. In this account – an autoethnography of alcoholism and the impact of therapy culture – the author's intention is not to make claims for a final word or closure on the topics raised, and juxtaposed with appropriate social theory. It is rather hoped that the text will trigger further meaning creation on the part of the reader and, in terms of praxis, contribute towards creating a kinder and more humane mental health nursing and therapy practice and in the ‘off duty’ world.