No child is an island: from attachment narratives towards a sense of belonging

Children and young people who have experienced violence, abuse or neglect run the risk of becoming insulated from their family, carers and the broader communities they belong to. They often present problematic behaviour and may get diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder or are seen as insecurely attached. Despite all the efforts made by the people involved, feelings of alienation can increase. Drawing upon the rich literature on attachment, we therapeutically elaborate ideas that run counter to such isolating tendencies. A systemic approach to theoretical concepts of attachment such as ‘a sense of personal and relational agency’, ‘a sense of coherence’ and ‘a sense of belonging’ opens up therapeutic possibilities. A thoughtful use of playfulness and narrative methods in work with children, their families, their carers and wider networks facilitates new ways of relating: we talk and do attachment in ever widening circles. This is illustrated by a case study. Practitioner points A systemic take on difficult attachment behaviour opens up new therapeutic possibilities, especially when using narrative ideas and playfulness Creating a safe place allows children and their carers to co‐research difficulties and start to talk and ‘do’ attachment, in ever widening circles By continually involving different actors, professional as well as nonprofessional, teams of solidarity and care are created