Watching, waiting, and wondering: Applying psychoanalytic principals to mother‐infant intervention

There is general acceptance that the intergenerational repetition of relational patterns is transmitted within the interactions between mother and infant. The highly invested nature of the mother‐infant relationship makes it a prime arena for the playing out of unresolved relational conflicts of the mother. This occurs through the mother's responses to her infant in which she projects into the infant certain disavowed but highly invested positive or negative attributes. This leads to the interactional re‐creation of a whole relational system reflecting the mother's current and past relationship experiences. When a mother's conflictual past is unresolved and unmitigated by current relationships, her interactions with her infant are more driven by such perceptions than by real appraisal of the infant's actual attributes. The sleeping, eating, and behavioral management problems of infancy are often manifestations of such situations. A deceptively simple set of instructions to the mother, to become a nonintrusive observer of her infant and only interact at the infant's initiative, allows a role for the infant's initiative in changing interactions and thus potentially changing a relational system.