Being a Writer vs. Being an Academic: A Conflict in Goals

of academic. I wish there were not. In this essay I will explore how this conflict plays out in a first year writing class. But it will be obvious that I see the issue lurking in a larger dimension-even autobiographically. I am an academic and I am a writer. I've struggled to be able to make those claims, and I am proud of both identities-but I sometimes feel them in conflict. Thus I'm talking here about the relationship between two rolestwo ways of being in the world of texts. It is my wish that students should be able to inhabit both roles comfortably. Note that I'm talking here about roles, not professions. That is, I'm not trying to get first year students to commit to making their living by writing-nor to get a Ph.D. and join the academy. But I would insist that it's a reasonable goal for my students to end up saying, "I feel like I am a writer: I get deep satisfaction from discovering meanings by writing-figuring out what I think and feel through putting down words; I naturally turn to writing when I am perplexed-even when I am just sad or happy; I love to explore and communicate with others through writing; writing is an important part of my life." Similarly, I would insist that it's a reasonable goal for my students to end up saying, "I feel like I am an academic: reading knowledgeable books, wrestling my way through important issues with fellows, figuring out hard questions-these activities give me deep satisfaction and they are central to my sense of who I am." In short, I want my