Freedom and secretiveness, in late modernism

In contemporary Polish, there often appears the trivial mistake: “in another optics,” or, even worse, “to change the optics of seeing.” That fallacy sounds like breaking a lens or crushing glasses, yet I wish to make that mistake, I wish to prove another way of seeing. I wrote “seeing”, but, in fact, what I meant was “nonseeing”, “shutting my eyelids”, and “pretend and real blindness.” I have already fallen into contradictions, from which no paradox can retrieve me, though I have prepared several paradoxes in my defence. For a second, the glare of a paradox beautifully lights up the darkness. What I mean, though, is darkness viewed in permanent light. Had I started with the following invitation: “I wish to explain the problem of secretiveness in contemporary culture,” I would had acted against my internal defiance towards the mechanisms of writing, I would had broken the principle which I wish to present in ill light – the principle of general explaining. Therefore, I shall write about light, explaining, and transparency transitioning freely from metaphor to notions, from a person to a shadow, and from openness to secretiveness. I am actually not driven by an objection to openness, rather by my laughter caused by openness which demands the right to become the whole world. That laughter arrives from a clearly realised darkness. A shadow and secretiveness are two metaphors which I feel as the manifestations of darkness in the life of an individual. The “manifestations of darkness” formula sounds like a quotation from Novalis, or from the gnostic miłosz, and refers to the currently disdained metaphysics. Surely I will not avoid that label, though I am referring to darkness and lightness tailored by obvious views. I apply the metaphor of darkness to the area unidentified by man: things unidentified in the past, unforeseen in the future, unilluminated in the individual, unread in the cosmos and the cosmic existence of humanity, and unknown within the matter of the cosmos itself – one could list many more dark and black things. However, for me the darkest of all seems not the darkness of the unknown but the time which precedes existence, and occurs afterwards. The flash of existence lights up the darkness of endless time – that is