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This document has an unorthodox structure to accomplish an unorthodox goal:presenting the scaffolding for a zero-parameter Unified Theory of Life insideseveral dozen pages. Ideally, that length is short enough to be understood in afew hours, yet complete and principled enough to unfold into solutions tocivilization's most urgent problem: the accelerating de-calibration of fluidhuman brains by compelling digitized signals. The stakes of understandinghumans as informational beings are huge. Without drastic changes, crucial humanfunctionality will vanish in a generation. Fortunately, the cures are cheap andeasy if promoted properly. These ten hypotheses re-present in more abstract,encapsulated form a Framework published a few months ago in a reputablepeer-reviewed journal, which concluded that human sensory systems must beaccorded data of the same quality as the data which already trains algorithmicintelligences. While the lack of experiment-grade detail might make thesehypotheses seem "unscientific," in compensation the breadth of this Frameworkought to provide the virtues of theory: clarity, simplicity, coherence, andself-evidence. Five of the hypotheses span humanity's current problem-space,and five a possible solution space. They are: H1.0 Stably evolvingdistributions must balance themselves between narrowing and broadening H2.0Stabilization and homeostasis are fragile in multiple ways H3.0 Representingspacetime requires micro-timing and mega-assumptions H4.0 When in doubt, ping!H5.0 Mediated communication becomes infected with pinging H6.0 If scaling andincentives are the problems, then entropy and affection are the solutions H7.0"Paleo everything but violence" provides sensorimotor nutrition H8.0 Humansevolved to resonate ecstatically H9.0 Symmetric spinal health syndrome H9.5Helping the irresistible force beat the immovable object

9.5 Hypotheses on the Informational Structure of Life which are  Multi-scale, Human-readable, Provocative, Coherent, Plausible, Falsifiable,  and Actionable