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The memoirs of (post-) punk musician Viv Albertine address the issue of choice or lack thereof in romantic and family relationships. They depict a world in which choice of romantic partners appears normal if often unsuccessful, whereas choice within family relationships is restricted. It is self-evident that one cannot choose one’s blood relatives. However, amplified by Albertine’s scepticism towards any social relationships, her two memoirs represent ‘negative choice’ (Eva Illouz) in heterosexual romantic relationships and the complex ways in which negative choice can change family dynamics. In her memoirs, Albertine presents loneliness as the opposite of love which aligns with her model of choice, as it is preferable to live a lonely life over being bound up in love relationships, romantic or familial, which are harmful to one’s wellbeing. This article demonstrates how the ethos of early punk is translated into an uncompromising process of life writing which presents itself as faithfulness towards the individual’s core need for self-realisation and self-expression against the backdrop of failing romantic and familial relationships, severe physical and mental health problems, a self-diagnosis of autism and a patriarchal society.

‘Confessions of a MILF (I chose being an artist over being a wife)’. Love and relationships in Viv Albertine’s memoirs.