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Background  HIV has affected gay men disproportionately in the U.S. for four decades. Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) was developed as a prevention strategy for individuals at high risk of HIV infection. Although highly effective, many gay and other men who have sex with men continue not to take PrEP. Researchers have focused on sexual risk behaviors as the primary determinant of who should be on PrEP and identified various objective systemic and societal barriers to PrEP access. Public health measures have promoted PrEP based on these objective criteria. Researchers have recently begun to inquire into subjective and relational motivators for PrEP usage beyond self-perceived risk.    Methods  Participants were recruited through snowball sampling. Data were collected between August and November 2018 from PrEP users ( n  = 7) and PrEP non-users ( n  = 6). Data were analyzed in a modified grounded theory qualitative analysis.    Results  The thirteen participants’ narratives contained three superordinate categories: (1) what it’s like to be someone on PrEP, (2) an environment of changing sexual norms, and (3) the continued importance of education. These categories comprised ten themes, each of which had various repeating ideas. The ten themes were the following: (1) PrEP’s social acceptability, (2) PrEP and HIV stigma, (3) PrEP and sexual relationships, (4) dissatisfaction with condoms, (5) negotiating risk, (6) peace of mind, (7) developing a relationship with PrEP, (8) putting yourself first, (9) PrEP awareness, and (10) PrEP logistics.    Conclusions  The gay men in our study took into consideration their social roles and relationships, their personal beliefs, and emotional histories as well as risk as prominent motivators for PrEP use. They stated that PrEP use is associated with their sense of belonging, trust, and security about their sexuality. They also identified the most relevant aspects of the medication (e.g., side effects, adherence, and awareness) to their lives.    Supplementary Information  The online version contains supplementary material available at 10.1186/s12889-021-11863-w.

The relevance of pre-exposure prophylaxis in gay men’s lives and their motivations to use it: a qualitative study