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Background  Self-reliance (the need to rely on one’s own efforts and abilities) is cited as a potential coping strategy for decreased or absent social support during pregnancy. Little data exists on how women view self-reliance in pregnancy.    Methods  We recruited women from urban, walk-in pregnancy testing clinics from June 2014–June 2015. Women aged 16 to 44 and at less than 24 weeks gestational age were eligible. Participants completed an enrollment survey and in-person, semi-structured interviews. We used framework analysis to identify key concepts and assess thematic relationships.    Results  Eighty-four English-speaking women completed qualitative interviews. Participants averaged 26 years of age and 7 weeks estimated gestational age. Most identified as Black (54%) or Hispanic (20%), were unemployed or homemakers (52%), unmarried (92%), and had at least one child (67%). Most did not intend to get pregnant (61%) and planned to continue their pregnancy and parent (65%). We identified self-reliance as a prevalent concept that almost half (48%) of participants discussed in relationship to their pregnancy. Self-reliance in pregnancy consisted of several subthemes: 1) past experiences, 2) expectations of motherhood, 3) financial independence, 4) decision making, and 5) parenting.    Conclusions  Self-reliance is an important aspect of women’s reproductive lives and is threaded through women’s past and current thoughts, feelings, experiences and decisions about pregnancy. Women’s belief in their own self-reliance as well as a recognition of the limits of self-reliance merits further research, especially as a potential strategy to cope with decreased or absent social support during pregnancy.    Electronic supplementary material  The online version of this article (10.1186/s12884-018-2022-8) contains supplementary material, which is available to authorized users.

“I’m used to doing it by myself”: exploring self-reliance in pregnancy