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This article combines research results centred on theory of mind (ToM) from cognitive and developmental psychology ( Goldman 2006 ;  Apperly 2010 ;  Wilkinson and Ball 2012 ) with the notion of intersubjectivity in usage-based linguistics (i.a.  Verhagen 2005 ;  Nuyts 2012 ;  Traugott 2012 ). It identifies some of the controversies in the literature from both domains and suggests the desiderata for a hybrid approach to intersubjectivity, which is distinctively designed to tackle applied research in social and cognitive sciences. This model is based on a mismatch between interaction as mere ‘co-action’ vs. interaction as spontaneously communicated awareness of an(other) mind(s). It provides a case study centred on the first language acquisition of pre-nominal usage of  this/that  and  such . From, respectively, a distinctive collexeme ( Gries and Stefanowitsch 2004 ) and behavioural profile analysis ( Gries 2010 ) will emerge that beyond expressions of joint attention, children’s ToM ability progressively underpins ‘ad-hoc’ generalized instantiations based on extended intersubjectivity,  viz.  the socio-cognitive skill to problematize what a general persona would act, feel, or think in a specific context.

From Co-Actionality to Extended Intersubjectivity: Drawing on Language Change and Ontogenetic Development