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In this paper the aim is to explore how men who have been violent and abusive in their intimate relationships reconstituted their violent behaviour, by working on the self. How did they change or transform themselves through therapy? Which strategies did they use when caring for the self and which subject positions were adopted? The paper also explores how interviewees draw on therapeutic discourse when talking about themselves and their violent practices. To seek answers, the narratives of seven research participants are interpreted by drawing on Foucault´s work on the ethics of the self and how subjects apply various techniques when taking care of and working on it. Our findings indicate that by confessing to violence and abuse in intimate relationships, these men become recognized as intelligible subjects who can change themselves by working on the self through therapy and self-inspection. Most of them came to be reflective and tried to find explanations for their violent acts. Some were partly repentant. However, as discussed in the paper, they also made excuses for the violence committed and did not critically question their own privileges and entitlements as men. Instead, they often blamed external factors or own mental illnesses for their actions. These can have implications for service providers as discussed further in the paper. Despite considerable therapeutic insights these men still need guidance and increased awareness of gendering aspects of IPV and insights into how they are constituted by the dominant discourses of masculinity.

Working on violent self: how perpetrators of IPV narrate about and position themselves during and after therapy? An example from Iceland