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This article emerged out of a debrief as a result of putting together a journal issue on race, mission, and colonialism. We found this to be a challenging, confronting, and learning experience where we encountered our whiteness, sometimes in unexpected ways. We were able to uncover this by a series of conversations during which we discovered new and troubling insights about the process which had made us deeply uncomfortable. The autoethnographic conversations really did provide a place for moments of disclosure or epiphanic moments as we began to unpick and analyse our own reactions, responses, and unease. These began to provide insights around systemic racism, structures of whiteness, tools of whiteness, our own white fragility and complicity. Drawing on scholars such as Willie James Jennings, bell hooks, John Hull, and Anthony Reddie helped us to deepen our reflection and begin to understand how we are enmeshed in a system of whiteness for which we have to take responsibility. Jennings’ metaphor of mastery was particularly helpful and revealing as we found ourselves so often pushed in this direction. This personal story of putting together a journal became a larger canvas for us to reflect more widely on systemic injustice of which we are all a part and how we can become stuck in it. We learned that we need to own this and to be more intentional in our efforts to dismantle whiteness.

practical theology

Encountering our own whiteness: An autoethnographic conversation on the experience of putting together a journal issue around mission, race and colonialism