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The group known as ‘incels’ (involuntary celibates, usually men) has become a spectacle for feminism as well as for mass media. Both popular and academic feminisms have condemned the incel for his involvement in many examples of misogyny and of violence. He is, in many ways, an unredeemable figure. I consider the incel beyond these denunciatory terms and in particular examine how the incel is represented as a ‘boy’; that is, as a man who cannot grow up. I also reflect on the reasons incels give for this arrested development – feminism, loss, and crisis, among them – and grapple with how boys like the incel are living in a world already changed by feminism. The incel is not a ‘good boy’, but this essay argues that ‘bad objects’ can disrupt the surface of our political projects in new, generative ways and that thinking with and through the incel in these terms is made possible by an affirmative feminist framework.

Failure to thrive: incels, boys and feminism