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Sexual coercion is normalized within dominant cultural narratives of seduction and heteronormativity. Many men assert that they abhor rape, but may not comprehend or accept that rape can occur in ways that would challenge their notion of what is acceptable within heteronormative understandings of gender, seduction, and heterosex. Analyses of in-depth, semi-structured interviews with seven male participants in Australia substantiates previous research demonstrating that men are indeed capable of nuanced communication and can understand refusals. Despite understanding refusals, this research found that men perform naivete regarding their use of coercion, or employ language that justifies and minimizes their use of coercion and its potential impact. By exploring sexual negotiation and adherence to heteronormative gender roles and sexual scripts, the findings indicate that coercion is understood by men and employed despite clear signs of refusal, yet ensuing sexualized acts continue to be positioned as “consensual.” Suggestions that women should “just say no” overlook that men use coercion past the point of refusals, indicating problematic beliefs about gender, sex, and entitlement, rather than communication issues.

Understanding Refusals, Using Coercion: Young Men’s Understanding and Use of Normalized Sexualized Violence within Heterosex